American Pregnancy Association Promoting Pregnancy Wellness Thu, 01 Jun 2023 08:45:46 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://americanpregnancy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/apa-favicon-heart-2019-50x50.png American Pregnancy Association 32 32 Breastfeeding Diet Basics, According To A Registered Dietitian https://americanpregnancy.org/healthy-pregnancy/breastfeeding-diet-basics-registered-dietitian/ Wed, 28 Dec 2022 16:52:13 +0000 https://americanpregnancy.org/?p=95990 You made it through those 9 months of pregnancy where you did without massive amounts of caffeine, booze, and raw sushi, indubitably with absolute success. But now that you are a new mama and you are entering a new phase of your journey — namely your lactation journey — it is important to know that […]

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You made it through those 9 months of pregnancy where you did without massive amounts of caffeine, booze, and raw sushi, indubitably with absolute success. But now that you are a new mama and you are entering a new phase of your journey — namely your lactation journey — it is important to know that there are some nutrition tips that you are still going to have to follow if you want your breastmilk to be as nutritious as it can be for your little one.

Sure, your diet becomes much more liberalized once you are no longer responsible for literally growing a tiny human in your belly (and thank goodness for that!), but you aren’t completely off the hook when it comes to focusing on your diet when you are breastfeeding. Not only does what you eat impact certain aspects of the nutrients provided in your breastmilk, but it can also play a role in your healing progress, your energy levels, and your mental health.

So, what are the breastfeeding tips you need to keep in mind when you are following a breastfeeding diet? Read on to learn the best foods to eat while breastfeeding, what not to eat while breastfeeding, how many calories should a breastfeeding woman eat, and more.

Without further ado, here are the best things to eat while breastfeeding.

How Much Do You Need To Eat When Breastfeeding?

Before we dig into the specifics of which foods to focus on, it is important to understand that your overall nutrition needs have changed once you start lactating. While people claim that you are “eating for two” when you are pregnant, the reality is that your caloric needs have increased significantly once you are producing nourishing milk for your baby — even more than during pregnancy.

According to the National Institute of Health, lactating people need an additional 450-500 calories per day to support their nutrition needs. Additionally, nursing moms need approximately 71 grams of protein per day according to the Dietary Guidelines for Americans.

Increasing your calorie and protein intake doesn’t mean that you should be downing a bag of fried potato chips and a dozen slices of fatty bacon every day. Leaning on nutrient-dense foods that contain high-quality protein, a slew of micronutrients, and healthy fats can help you feel your best while helping supply your baby with the critical nutrients it needs in order to grow and thrive.

What Should You Eat When Breastfeeding?

OK – you get that you need to eat more calories and protein when you are lactating, but what the heck should you actually eat while breastfeeding to increase baby weight and help ensure baby is getting what it needs from your breastmilk?

Here are some tips for your breastfeeding diet that can have a profound impact on everything you are trying to accomplish:

The best breastfeeding diet for you and your baby.

1. Include Low Mercury Fish In Your Diet Two Times A Week

Experts agree that including fish that contain lower levels of methylmercury in your breastfeeding diet is one of the most important things you can do to fuel your body with important DHA and EPA omega-3 fatty acids, nutrients that play important roles in baby’s health. Specifically, DHA is an omega-3 fatty acid that is essential for the brain and vision development of your baby.

Adequate DHA omega-3 fatty acids may benefit a lactating mama as well, as some data suggests that taking in adequate amounts during the postpartum stage may have a protective effect against postpartum depression symptoms and promote overall wellness.

Fish also provides important micronutrients that are important to consume in adequate amounts during the lactation stage, including iodine, selenium, and vitamin B12.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that breastfeeding mothers take in 200 to 300 mg of omega-3 fatty acids per day. They also recommend that this population. eat 1-2 servings of fish per week, with sustainably caught or raised fish and shellfish offering the best choices. Similarly, the Dietary Guidelines for Americans includes a suggestion that breastfeeding women consume between 9 and 12 ounces per week of a variety of seafood from choices that are lower in mercury.

When selecting your fish, picking options that are lower in methylmercury is an important step to consider. Methylercury is a naturally occurring element that can be found in our water sources, and therefore can accumulate in the fish we eat. This metal, when consumed in large amounts, is toxic to the nervous system and can result in negative effects on the brain and nervous system development of a baby.

Safe Catch is the only brand of seafood to test every Elite skipjack tuna and salmon to a mercury limit 10X and25x more strict than the FDA action limit, respectively. Plus, these fish options meets Consumer Report’s “low mercury criteria” set for vulnerable populations like pregnant women and young children and it is the official Seafood of the American Pregnancy Association. Safe Catch also uses Certified Sustainable fishing practices through the Marine Stewardship Council where Safe Catch tuna and salmon are internationally certified to the MSC fisheries standard of sustainability.

2. Focus On Important Micronutrients

Your breast milk naturally contains nutrients that your baby needs in order to grow and thrive. And while certain nutrients are found in your milk regardless of what you eat, other nutrient levels are dependent on your intake — meaning that if your diet is low in certain quantities of key nutrients, your breastmilk may not have the most ideal levels.

Choline, iodine, selenium, and vitamin A are key nutrients that lactating moms should ensure they are consuming enough of. Great foods to include in a breastfeeding diet that supply at least one of these nutrients include:

3. Consume Caffeine in Moderation

Unlike during pregnancy, when some experts say that sticking to a maximum of 200 mg of caffeine every day is recommended, you can include a good amount of this stimulant in your breastfeeding diet, as very low amounts of mom’s caffeine intake are transferred to the breast milk. As such, moderate amounts of caffeine do not appear to be as large of a concern as it was during pregnancy. So, feel free to enjoy your morning cup of Joe when you are lactating — you may still want to hold off on the triple espresso lattes though until you are finished with your lactation journey.

The Right Nutrients For A Healthy Breastfeeding Journey

When a mother is breastfeeding, her dietary choices become incredibly important in order to support not only her health and wellness but also her baby’s growth and development. Choosing the right foods to eat, like Safe Catch Elite Wild Tuna and other lower-mercury fish options, lots of produce, and eggs, can help ensure mom is getting what she needs and the breast milk being fed to baby is as nutrient-dense as possible. Prioritizing your diet when you are caring for a newborn may not be the easiest thing to do, but in the long run, doing so may be one of the best things you can do for both yourself and for your baby.

Lauren Manaker – MS, RDN, LD, CLEC, CPT
Registered Dietitian, Certified Lactation Educator-Counselor, Freelance Writer, Dietitian Spokesperson, Media Dietitian
@laurenlovesnutrition

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Benefits of Fish Oil Supplements & Fish Consumption in Pregnancy https://americanpregnancy.org/healthy-pregnancy/benefits-of-fish-oil-supplements-fish-consumption/ Fri, 16 Dec 2022 16:50:48 +0000 https://americanpregnancy.org/?p=95986 If you are taking a fish oil supplement while pregnant or nursing, can you skip eating seafood? A dietitian explains. Some of us happily enjoy a homemade tuna sandwich, a piece of freshly grilled salmon at dinnertime, and other seafood dishes a few times a week. But, unfortunately, many pregnant and lactating women aren’t coming […]

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If you are taking a fish oil supplement while pregnant or nursing, can you skip eating seafood? A dietitian explains.

Some of us happily enjoy a homemade tuna sandwich, a piece of freshly grilled salmon at dinnertime, and other seafood dishes a few times a week. But, unfortunately, many pregnant and lactating women aren’t coming close to the recommended 8-10 ounce weekly intake of seafood.

As a solution, many people, especially women during pregnancy and who are breastfeeding, lean on fish oil supplements to help them get in important healthy fats, even when they are foregoing their fish and shellfish.

But is taking a fish oil supplement an appropriate substitute for eating seafood every week? Or do you still need to eat your fish and shellfish even if you are religiously popping a fish oil pill every day?

What Is Fish Oil?

The fish we eat, especially more oily options like salmon, mackerel, and sardines, are rich sources of unique omega-3 fatty acids that offer important health benefits. Docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) and Eicosatetraenoic acid (EPA) are two specific omega-3 fatty acids found in these oily fish and they are incredibly important for supporting a healthy pregnancy, specifically by offering potential benefits like reducing the risk of pre-term labor and possibly reducing the risk of developing postpartum depression. And for lactating women, adequate intake of the healthy omegas found in fish is linked to outcomes like better infant psychomotor development and a reduced risk of infant allergies.

These fatty acids are considered to be healthy fats and these omegas cannot be produced by the human body in adequate amounts, making it incredibly important to take this fat in via your diet, especially when pregnant or lactating.

Omega 3 benefits certainly run the gamut. Some roles DHA and EPA omega-3 fatty acids may play in the human body include:

  • Vision support
  • Brain health support
  • Heart-health support
  • Help maintain a healthy pregnancy in pregnant women
  • Combat chronic inflammation
  • Support mental health

And when it comes to a developing baby, DHA omega 3 fatty acids play an important role in both eye and brain health.

How much fish oil should be taken daily depends on a few factors, including a person’s age and health status. Pregnant women are told to take in a minimum of 200 milligrams of DHA omega-3 fatty acids, with some data suggesting that a daily dose that is closer to 1,000 milligrams should be what we are aiming for during certain stages of pregnancy. Ultimately, the exact amount of DHA and EPA omega-3 fatty acids you should be shooting for should be discussed with your health care provider.

Benefits of fish oil supplements in pregnancy.

What Are Fish Oil Pills?

We already know how beneficial fish oil can be to supporting our overall health. Therefore, it is no surprise that fish oil is one of U.S. adults and children’s most commonly used nonvitamin/nonmineral dietary supplements.

When taking a fish oil supplement, you are essentially taking a pill made of the oils obtained from a fish. Typically, these fish oil supplements are fantastic sources of DHA and EPA omega-3 fatty acids, and they help people take in these important fats in a convenient way. In some cases, these supplements may also contain additional nutrients, like vitamin D.

There is no doubt that taking these pills is convenient, and they are a simple way to provide your body with these key nutrients. But only leaning on pills and not including fish in your diet can leave you missing out on other important nutrients that extend beyond DHA and EPA omega-3s.

A Fish Oil Pill Is Not A Substitute For Eating Fish

Taking a fish oil supplement loaded with DHA and EPA omega-3 fatty acids is one simple habit that many health experts recommend, especially when it comes to those who are pregnant or lactating.

But does popping a fish oil supplement mean you don’t have to eat the recommended 8-10 ounces of seafood every week?

While it is true that one of the reasons seafood is recommended to be a part of the pregnancy and lactation diet is because of the unique healthy omega-3 fatty acids they provide, the fat content is not the only reason why fish is suggested.

Sure, one serving of salmon or tuna can fuel your body with loads of DHA and EPA omega-3s, but seafood is also chock-full of handfuls of other important nutrients that are too important to ignore.

Let’s take a can of tuna, as an example. In each 3-ounce serving, you get 60 milligrams of EPA omega-3 fatty acids and over 1,000 milligrams of DHA omega-3 fatty acids. But along with a hefty dose of these healthy fats, you also get a dose of protein, selenium, magnesium, calcium, potassium, vitamin B12, and a slew of other nutrients that support a healthy pregnancy, heart health, brain health, and overall well-being.

And data shows that some benefits of eating fish include supporting bone health, reducing anxiety levels, and even reducing the risk of developing type 2 diabetes. During pregnancy, eating fish is linked to some fascinating outcomes too.

According to the results of one study, pregnant women who ate fish 2-3 times every week had babies who reached milestones like climbing stairs, drinking from a cup, and drawing more quickly than babies born to moms who did not eat the same amount of fish every week. Another study showed that children whose mothers eat seafood during pregnancy may gain an average of 7.7 IQ points compared to those whose mothers do not eat seafood.

Mercury Concerns Surrounding Fish Consumption During Pregnancy

Eating fish during pregnancy can fuel your body with important nutrients in a delicious and sustainable way, the potential methylmercury content of your fish needs to be taken into consideration.

Methylmercury is a naturally occurring toxic element that settles from the air into our water sources. This compound can build up in fish, and can therefore be transferred to humans when we enjoy a seafood meal. When this metal is consumed in large amounts during pregnancy, the risk of experiencing negative effects on the baby’s brain and nervous system development can increase.

Considering how many beneficial compounds fish can provide a pregnant person, it is not recommended to avoid fish altogether. Instead, the most recent Dietary Guidelines for Americans recommends that those who are pregnant or breastfeeding consume between 8 and 12 ounces per week of a variety of seafood from choices that are lower in mercury.

When shopping for fish during pregnancy, it is helpful to know that Safe Catch Elite and Ahi tuna and salmon meet Consumer Report’s “low mercury criteria” set for vulnerable populations like pregnant women and young children. Plus, Safe Catch is the only brand of seafood to test every tuna (Elite and Ahi) and salmon to a mercury limit 10-25x stricter than the FDA action limit, making it a perfect addition to pregnancy and nursing-safe diet.

Fish Oil Pills + Seafood = Maximum Health Benefits

No matter whether you are trying to support your heart health, maintain a healthy pregnancy or support a healthy breastfeeding journey, taking a fish oil supplement and eating seafood can both help you achieve your goal. Therefore, the question of whether you should take a fish oil supplement vs eating fish is moot, as ideally, you are doing both! Sticking to fish options that are lower in mercury, like Safe Catch Elite Tuna, will help you meet your needs in a safe and nourishing way.

Bottom line? The benefits of omega 3s are too important to neglect especially during pregnancy. Combining your fish oil pill with your seafood intake will ensure you are giving your body exactly what you need, even on days when you are not including fish in your diet. So, keep taking your recommended fish oil per day, but don’t skip the seafood. Your body will thank you for it.

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Getting Your Baby to Sleep https://americanpregnancy.org/uncategorized/getting-your-baby-to-sleep/ Fri, 15 Jul 2022 18:50:39 +0000 https://americanpregnancy.org/?p=95626 Sleep is crucial to the development of your baby’s brain just as nutrition is essential to the development of your baby’s body. Let’s look at the best ways to get your child to go to sleep. Your Baby’s Sleep Babies do not have regular sleep cycles until about 6 months of age. While newborns sleep […]

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Sleep is crucial to the development of your baby’s brain just as nutrition is essential to the development of your baby’s body. Let’s look at the best ways to get your child to go to sleep.

Your Baby’s Sleep

Babies do not have regular sleep cycles until about 6 months of age. While newborns sleep about 16 to 17 hours per day, they may only sleep 1 or 2 hours at a time. As babies get older, they need less sleep. However, different babies have different sleep needs. It is normal for a 6-month-old to wake up during the night but go back to sleep after a few minutes.

Here are some suggestions that may help your baby (and you) sleep better at night.

  1. Keep your baby calm and quiet when you feed or change her during the night. Try not to stimulate or wake her too much.
  2. Make daytime playtime. Talking and playing with your baby during the day will help lengthen her awake times. This will help her sleep for longer periods during the night.
  3. Put your baby to bed when drowsy but still awake. This will help your baby learn to fall asleep on her own in her own bed. Holding or rocking her until she is completely asleep may make it hard for her to go back to sleep if she wakes up during the night.
  4. Wait a few minutes before responding to your child’s fussing. See if she can fall back to sleep on her own. If she continues to cry, check on her, but don’t turn on the light, play with her, or pick her up. If she gets frantic or is unable to settle herself, consider what else might be bothering her. She may be hungry, wet or soiled, feverish, or otherwise not feeling well.

Toddlers and Preschoolers Sleep Time

Many parents find their toddler’s bedtime to be the hardest part of the day. Children this age often resist going to sleep, especially if they have older siblings who are still awake.

Use the following tips to help your toddler develop good sleep habits:

  1. Set up a quiet routine before bedtime to help your child understand that it will soon be time to go to sleep. Use this time to read him a story, listen to quiet music, or give him a bath. It may be tempting to play with your child before bed. However, active play may make your child too excited to sleep.
  2. Be consistent. Make bedtime the same time every night. This helps your child know what to expect and helps him establish healthy sleep patterns.
  3. Allow your child to take a favorite thing to bed each night. It’s OK to let your child sleep with a teddy bear, special blanket, or some other favorite toy. These often help children fall asleep—especially if they wake up during the night. Make sure the object is safe. Look for ribbons, buttons, or other parts that may be choking hazards. Stuffing or pellets inside stuffed toys can also be dangerous.
  4. Make sure your child is comfortable. He may like to have a drink of water, a light left on, or the door left slightly open. Try to handle your child’s needs before bedtime so that he doesn’t use them to avoid going to sleep.
  5. Do not let your child sleep in the same bed with you. This can make it harder for him to fall asleep when he is alone.
  6. Do not return to your child’s room every time he complains or calls out. Instead, try the following:
    • Wait several seconds before answering and make your response time longer each time he calls. This will give him a chance to fall asleep on his own. 
    • Reassure your child that you are there. If you need to go into the room, do not turn on the light, play with him, or stay too long.
    • Move farther from your child’s bed every time you go in, until you can reassure him verbally without entering his room.
    • Remind him each time he calls that it’s time to go to sleep.
  1. Give it time. Helping your child develop good sleep habits can be a challenge, and it is normal to get upset when a child keeps you awake at night. Try to be understanding. A negative response by a parent can sometimes make a sleep problem worse.

Sources:

American Academy of Pediatrics, HealthChildren.org: Source Sleep Problems in Children

Sleep is crucial to the development of your baby’s brain just as nutrition is essential to the development of your baby’s body. Let’s look at the best ways to get your child to go to sleep.

Babies

Babies do not have regular sleep cycles until about 6 months of age. While newborns sleep about 16 to 17 hours per day, they may only sleep 1 or 2 hours at a time. As babies get older, they need less sleep. However, different babies have different sleep needs. It is normal for a 6-month-old to wake up during the night but go back to sleep after a few minutes.

Here are some suggestions that may help your baby (and you) sleep better at night.

  1. Keep your baby calm and quiet when you feed or change her during the night. Try not to stimulate or wake her too much.
  2. Make daytime playtime. Talking and playing with your baby during the day will help lengthen her awake times. This will help her sleep for longer periods during the night.
  3. Put your baby to bed when drowsy but still awake. This will help your baby learn to fall asleep on her own in her own bed. Holding or rocking her until she is completely asleep may make it hard for her to go back to sleep if she wakes up during the night.
  4. Wait a few minutes before responding to your child’s fussing. See if she can fall back to sleep on her own. If she continues to cry, check on her, but don’t turn on the light, play with her, or pick her up. If she gets frantic or is unable to settle herself, consider what else might be bothering her. She may be hungry, wet or soiled, feverish, or otherwise not feeling well.

Toddlers and preschoolers

Many parents find their toddler’s bedtime to be the hardest part of the day. Children this age often resist going to sleep, especially if they have older siblings who are still awake.

 

Use the following tips to help your toddler develop good sleep habits:

 

  1. Set up a quiet routine before bedtime to help your child understand that it will soon be time to go to sleep. Use this time to read him a story, listen to quiet music, or give him a bath. It may be tempting to play with your child before bed. However, active play may make your child too excited to sleep.
  1. Be consistent. Make bedtime the same time every night. This helps your child know what to expect and helps him establish healthy sleep patterns.
  1. Allow your child to take a favorite thing to bed each night. It’s OK to let your child sleep with a teddy bear, special blanket, or some other favorite toy. These often help children fall asleep—especially if they wake up during the night. Make sure the object is safe. Look for ribbons, buttons, or other parts that may be choking hazards. Stuffing or pellets inside stuffed toys can also be dangerous.
  1. Make sure your child is comfortable. He may like to have a drink of water, a light left on, or the door left slightly open. Try to handle your child’s needs before bedtime so that he doesn’t use them to avoid going to sleep.
  1. Do not let your child sleep in the same bed with you. This can make it harder for him to fall asleep when he is alone.
  1. Do not return to your child’s room every time he complains or calls out. Instead, try the following:
  • Wait several seconds before answering and make your response time longer each time he calls. This will give him a chance to fall asleep on his own.
  • Reassure your child that you are there. If you need to go into the room, do not turn on the light, play with him, or stay too long.
  • Move farther from your child’s bed every time you go in, until you can reassure him verbally without entering his room.
  • Remind him each time he calls that it’s time to go to sleep.
  1. Give it time. Helping your child develop good sleep habits can be a challenge, and it is normal to get upset when a child keeps you awake at night. Try to be understanding. A negative response by a parent can sometimes make a sleep problem worse.

Sources: 

American Academy of Pediatrics, HealthChildren.org: Source Sleep Problems in Children

Sleep is crucial to the development of your baby’s brain just as nutrition is essential to the development of your baby’s body. Let’s look at the best ways to get your child to go to sleep.

Babies

Babies do not have regular sleep cycles until about 6 months of age. While newborns sleep about 16 to 17 hours per day, they may only sleep 1 or 2 hours at a time. As babies get older, they need less sleep. However, different babies have different sleep needs. It is normal for a 6-month-old to wake up during the night but go back to sleep after a few minutes.

Here are some suggestions that may help your baby (and you) sleep better at night.

  1. Keep your baby calm and quiet when you feed or change her during the night. Try not to stimulate or wake her too much.
  2. Make daytime playtime. Talking and playing with your baby during the day will help lengthen her awake times. This will help her sleep for longer periods during the night.
  3. Put your baby to bed when drowsy but still awake. This will help your baby learn to fall asleep on her own in her own bed. Holding or rocking her until she is completely asleep may make it hard for her to go back to sleep if she wakes up during the night.
  4. Wait a few minutes before responding to your child’s fussing. See if she can fall back to sleep on her own. If she continues to cry, check on her, but don’t turn on the light, play with her, or pick her up. If she gets frantic or is unable to settle herself, consider what else might be bothering her. She may be hungry, wet or soiled, feverish, or otherwise not feeling well.

Toddlers and preschoolers

Many parents find their toddler’s bedtime to be the hardest part of the day. Children this age often resist going to sleep, especially if they have older siblings who are still awake.

 

Use the following tips to help your toddler develop good sleep habits:

 

  1. Set up a quiet routine before bedtime to help your child understand that it will soon be time to go to sleep. Use this time to read him a story, listen to quiet music, or give him a bath. It may be tempting to play with your child before bed. However, active play may make your child too excited to sleep.

 

  1. Be consistent. Make bedtime the same time every night. This helps your child know what to expect and helps him establish healthy sleep patterns.

 

  1. Allow your child to take a favorite thing to bed each night. It’s OK to let your child sleep with a teddy bear, special blanket, or some other favorite toy. These often help children fall asleep—especially if they wake up during the night. Make sure the object is safe. Look for ribbons, buttons, or other parts that may be choking hazards. Stuffing or pellets inside stuffed toys can also be dangerous.

 

  1. Make sure your child is comfortable. He may like to have a drink of water, a light left on, or the door left slightly open. Try to handle your child’s needs before bedtime so that he doesn’t use them to avoid going to sleep.

 

  1. Do not let your child sleep in the same bed with you. This can make it harder for him to fall asleep when he is alone.

 

  1. Do not return to your child’s room every time he complains or calls out. Instead, try the following:
  • Wait several seconds before answering and make your response time longer each time he calls. This will give him a chance to fall asleep on his own.
  • Reassure your child that you are there. If you need to go into the room, do not turn on the light, play with him, or stay too long.
  • Move farther from your child’s bed every time you go in, until you can reassure him verbally without entering his room.
  • Remind him each time he calls that it’s time to go to sleep.
  1. Give it time. Helping your child develop good sleep habits can be a challenge, and it is normal to get upset when a child keeps you awake at night. Try to be understanding. A negative response by a parent can sometimes make a sleep problem worse.

Sources: 

American Academy of Pediatrics: Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, 2014, Your Child’s Sleep

American Academy of Pediatrics, HealthChildren.org: Source Sleep Problems in Children

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What to Feed Your Toddler https://americanpregnancy.org/uncategorized/feeding-your-toddler/ Fri, 15 Jul 2022 17:29:40 +0000 https://americanpregnancy.org/?p=95607 Good nutrition gives your toddler what they need for growth, health, and energy for playing, moving, and learning. As they grow, toddlers can enjoy a wide range of foods. It’s good to feed your toddler a variety of foods from each food group with different tastes, textures and colors. Food Groups for Toddlers Grain Group: […]

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Good nutrition gives your toddler what they need for growth, health, and energy for playing, moving, and learning. As they grow, toddlers can enjoy a wide range of foods. It’s good to feed your toddler a variety of foods from each food group with different tastes, textures and colors.

Food Groups for Toddlers

Grain Group: at least 6 servings each day

1/4 – 1/2 slice of bread

2-3 crackers

1/4- 1/3 cup cooked rice, pasta, or cereal

1/4 – 1/2 bun, muffin, or bagel

Fruit and Vegetable Group: at least 5 servings each day

1/4 – 1/3 cup cooked, canned, or chopped raw

1/4 – 1/2 small fruit/vegetable

1/4 – 1/3 cup juice (limit fruit juice intake to no more than 4 ounces per day)

Milk Group: at least 3 servings each day

1/2 cup milk or yogurt

1/2 – 1 ounce of cheese

Note: You do not need to give your toddler low-fat foods.

Meat Group: 2 servings each day

1-2 ounces lean meat, chicken, fish

2-4 tablespoons dry beans and peas

1/2 – 1 egg

Fat Group: 3-4 servings each day

1 teaspoon margarine, butter, oils

These guidelines can help you determine what and how much to feed your toddler. If you worry about whether your child is getting enough calories, follow the American Academy of Pediatrics recommendation that children get about 40 calories a day for every inch of height.

What to feed a 1-year-old toddler

Developmental milestones: Can use a spoon (though proficiency will take a while!)

What to feed

  • Whole milk
  • Other dairy products (soft pasteurized cheese, full-fat yogurt and cottage cheese)
  • Iron-fortified cereals (oats, barley, wheat, mixed cereals)
  • Other grains (whole wheat bread, pasta, rice)
  • Fruits (melon, papaya, apricot, grapefruit)
  • Vegetables (broccoli and cauliflower “trees,” cooked until soft)
  • Protein (eggs, beans, thinly spread peanut butter, small pieces of meat, poultry, boneless fish, or tofu)
  • Honey

How much per day

  • 2 cups milk, or 2 cups yogurt, or 1 1/2 to 2 ounces cheese
  • 3 ounces grains, at least half whole grains (1 ounce = 1 cup cold cereal, 1/2 cup pasta or rice, one slice of bread)
  • 1 cup fruit (fresh, frozen, or canned. Cut fresh fruits into very small pieces.)
  • 1 cup vegetables (a variety cut in small pieces and cooked well)
  • 2 ounces protein (1 ounce = one slice of sandwich meat, about 1/3 of a chicken breast, 1/4 can of tuna, 1/4 cup cooked dry beans, or one egg)

Feeding tips

Experts used to say you shouldn’t give a young child eggs, fish, or peanut products because the child might develop a food allergy. But the latest research from the American Academy of Pediatrics found no evidence to support this claim. Talk to your child’s doctor if you have a family history of food allergies.

Limit added sugars. Toddlers’ added-sugar intake should be no more than 10 percent of their total daily calories. Keep in mind that these sugars and syrups creep into common foods toddlers love, from breakfast bars to mac n’ cheese to flavored drinks. Check the Nutrition Facts label on packaged foods, and try to steer clear of foods that list 1 gram or more of “Added Sugars.”

What to feed a 2-year-old toddler

Developmental milestones: Self-feeding and eager to make their own food choices

What to feed

  • Low-fat milk (It’s okay to switch to low-fat or nonfat milk once your child is older than 2, but check with your child’s doctor if you have questions.)
  • Other dairy products (diced or grated cheese, low-fat yogurt, cottage cheese, pudding)
  • Iron-fortified cereals (oats, barley, wheat, mixed cereals)
  • Other grains (whole wheat bread and crackers, bagel pieces, pretzels, ready-to-eat cereal, pasta, rice)
  • Fruits (sliced fresh or canned)
  • Dried fruit, soaked until soft to prevent choking (apples, apricots, peaches, pears, dates, pitted prunes)
  • Vegetables (a variety cut in small pieces and cooked well)
  • Protein (eggs, beans, thinly spread peanut butter, small pieces of meat, poultry, boneless fish, or tofu)
  • Combo foods like macaroni and cheese, casseroles

How much per day

  • 2 cups milk, or 2 cups yogurt, or 1 1/2 to 2 ounces cheese
  • 3 ounces grains, at least half whole grains (1 ounce = one slice of bread, 1 cup ready-to-eat cereal, or 1/2 cup of cooked rice, cooked whole wheat pasta, or cooked oatmeal)
  • 1 cup fruit (fresh, frozen, canned, or dried. Cut fresh fruits into very small pieces.)
  • 1 cup vegetables (a variety cut in small pieces and cooked well)
  • 2 ounces protein (1 ounce = 1/4 cup cooked dry beans or peas, one egg, 1 ounce of meat, poultry, or fish)

Feeding tips

At this age, children can have strong opinions about food. Let your child have a say in what to eat, while you provide the balance, boundaries, and encouragement to make healthy choices.

Is a Vegan Food Okay for Toddlers?

If you’re a vegan or vegetarian, you can still provide your infant or toddler with everything she needs. The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics and American Academy of Pediatrics agree that well-planned vegetarian and vegan diets are fine for infants and toddlers. Just make sure your child gets plenty of these nutrients:

Vitamin B12: Vegetarians can get this nutrient from milk products and eggs. Vegans can use fortified soy beverages, cereals, and meat substitutes.

Vitamin D: Breastfed babies should get an additional 400 IU per day from fortified cow’s milk or soy milk.

Calcium: Vegan babies may need calcium-fortified foods, beverages, or supplements. Check with your doctor or a dietitian.

Zinc: This important nutrient helps the immune system and can be found in beans, fortified cereal, milk, and wheat germ.

Iron: You can find this mineral in iron-fortified cereal or supplements. Serve with foods high in vitamin C – like oranges, tomatoes, and strawberries – to improve iron absorption.

Protein: Vegetarians can get added protein from yogurt and eggs. Vegans can get plant proteins from beans, cereals, and fortified soy milk.

Fiber: Good sources of fiber include whole grain breads, fortified cereals and pastas, and high-fat plant foods like sunflower butter and avocados.

Is there anything I shouldn’t feed my toddler?

It is important to avoid foods that can cause choking. Plus, always cut up foods into small pieces and watch your child while they are eating.

  • Slippery foods such as whole grapes; large pieces of meats, poultry, and hot dogs; candy and cough drops.
  • Small, hard foods such as nuts, seeds, popcorn, chips, pretzels, raw carrots, and raisins.
  • Sticky foods such as peanut butter and marshmallows.

What if my child is a picky eater?

Offer new foods one at a time, and remember that children may need to try a new food 10 or more times before they accept it.

Avoid “short order cooking.” Serve at least 1 food you know your child will like, but then expect him or her to eat the same foods as the rest of the family.

Make food simple, plain, and recognizable. Some kids don’t like food that is mixed together or food that is touching like a casserole

Never force your child to eat a food he or she doesn’t like. Offer multiple choices so they can choose something they do like.

Additional feeding tips:

  • Set a good example of healthy eating for your child.
  • Plan regular meals and snacks and give kids enough time to eat.
  • Plan a quiet time before meals and snacks because children eat better when they are relaxed.
  • Involve your children in making the food.
  • Use child-size plates, cups, forks and spoons.

Want to Know More:


Sources:

American Academy of Pediatrics: Serving Sizes for Toddlers

American Academy of Pediatrics: Feeding and Nutrition Tips: Your 2-Year-Old 

U.S. Department of Agriculture: MyPlate, Life Stages

U.S. Department of Agriculture and U.S. Department of Health and Human Services: DietaryGuidelines.gov  

Cleveland Clinic: Feeding Your Toddler-Ages 1 to 3 Years

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Child Support Tips for Parents https://americanpregnancy.org/healthy-pregnancy/general/child-support-tips/ Wed, 06 Jul 2022 15:37:29 +0000 https://americanpregnancy.org/?p=95551 Child support ensures both parents are financially contributing to their child’s upbringing. The following tips could help you whether you receive or pay child support. Tips for custodial parents What to do Stick to a budget. Plan how you will allocate the support payments to meet your child’s needs. If you have funds left, put […]

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child custody | American Pregnancy Association

Child support ensures both parents are financially contributing to their child’s upbringing.

The following tips could help you whether you receive or pay child support.

Tips for custodial parents

What to do

  • Stick to a budget. Plan how you will allocate the support payments to meet your child’s needs. If you have funds left, put them into a savings account for future expenses.
  • Request a support modification if your situation changes. You can request a support modification when there’s a significant change in your situation. For example, if you lose income, you could ask the court to increase the child support amount. Check your court’s specific rules about when you can make modification requests.

What not to do

  • Deny the noncustodial parent visits if they miss support payments. Custody and support orders are separate. If the noncustodial parent disobeys the support order, it does not give you permission to disobey the custody order. Also, denying visits gives the noncustodial parent cause to take you to court.
  • Spend support money on personal things for others. You may receive support payments, but they’re meant for your child. While you’re free to spend the money on things that benefit both you and your child (rent, gas, etc.), don’t use it exclusively for yourself or for children who aren’t named in the support order. The other parent could turn to the court or child support agency if they’re worried that payments aren’t reaching their child.

Tips for noncustodial parents

What to do

  • Make support payments on time. Pay on time to ensure your child has what they need. In some states, delinquent payments collect interest, meaning you’ll owe more than usual. If you expect to miss a payment, contact your local child support office before it is due. You might be able to set up a payment plan.
  • Show up for every visit. Being an active part of your child’s life is just as important as providing for them financially. Not exercising your visitation rights will not look good if you return to court. Furthermore, if parenting time is a factor in the support amount you pay, the custodial parent could request an increase.

What not to do

  • Ignore child support requests. Ignoring served child support papers does not mean you’ll avoid child support. If you don’t respond, the family court can issue a judgment without your input and you might end up owing an amount you cannot afford.
  • Refuse to pay support because the other parent won’t let you see the kids. Child support is the right of the child. Not paying only hurts your child as it can endanger their security. You also risk court sanctions as severe as jail time.

Article contributed by Custody X Change.


More Resources:

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Prenatal Vitamins https://americanpregnancy.org/healthy-pregnancy/pregnancy-health-wellness/prenatal-vitamins/ Wed, 01 Jun 2022 07:17:33 +0000 https://americanpregnancy.org/?p=990 Prenatal vitamins consist of a variety of vitamins and minerals to help your baby get the nutrients that are essential for healthy development. During pregnancy, a woman’s daily intake requirements for certain nutrients, such as folic acid (folate), calcium, and iron will increase.  Vitamins and minerals such as iron, calcium, and folic acid are vital for proper […]

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Prenatal vitamins consist of a variety of vitamins and minerals to help your baby get the nutrients that are essential for healthy development. During pregnancy, a woman’s daily intake requirements for certain nutrients, such as folic acid (folate), calcium, and iron will increase.  Vitamins and minerals such as iron, calcium, and folic acid are vital for proper fetal growth, development, and healthy adult living.

To help increase your chances of creating a healthy and nutritious environment in which your baby can develop, it is important that you establish a well-balanced diet and exercise routine before you get pregnant. If you choose to supplement your diet with prenatal vitamins, be sure to keep track of the daily amounts that you take and let your healthcare provider know.

Choosing Your Prenatal Vitamins

As a society we are led to believe that taking a prenatal vitamin during pregnancy will provide all the nutrients needed for a happy and healthy birth outcome. Although most prenatal vitamins do provide calcium, vitamin A, vitamin B1 (thiamine), vitamin B5 (pantothenic acid), vitamin B6 (pyridoxine), vitamin B7 (biotin), vitamin B9 (folic acid) or folate, vitamin B12 (cobalamin), vitamin C, vitamin E and vitamin D, there are three critical nutrients that your prenatal may lack, or be missing entirely. In other words, there is no such thing as a “perfect” prenatal vitamin that can meet all of your prenatal needs.

Vitamin D Supports a Healthy Pregnancy

It’s common knowledge that vitamin D benefits our bone, brain, cardiovascular, immune, metabolic, and respiratory health, but did you know that vitamin D is also critical for maintaining a healthy pregnancy? Emerging research strongly links vitamin D to a reduced risk of pregnancy complications including preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, preterm birth, and C-section delivery.  Unfortunately, research also indicates that an estimated 33% of pregnant women in the U.S. do not get enough vitamin D.

The majority of prenatal vitamins contain vitamin D within the range of 400 IU (10 mcg) to 1,000 IU (25 mcg). These values may not be enough. In a study examining the vitamin D levels of women consuming a prenatal supplement with 600 IU/day and two glasses of vitamin D fortified milk, researchers found that 76% of moms and 81% of newborn babies were deficient in vitamin D (levels <  20 ng/mL). This raises the question – how much vitamin D do you need to increase your levels? In a study comparing doses of 400, 2000 and 4000 IU/ day in pregnant women from early pregnancy (12 – 16 weeks) to delivery, researchers found that 4000 IU was the most effective at safely increasing vitamin D blood levels. Does this mean that every pregnant woman needs 4000 IU of vitamin D? Not exactly. The best thing to do is to get your vitamin D levels tested and talk to your doctor about what dose is right for you.

Choline Benefits Pregnancy and Beyond

Choline doesn’t get a lot of attention, but it is a nutrient with a number of impressive, long lasting benefits, making it an indispensable component of prenatal vitamins. For example, higher maternal choline intakes have been shown to reduce the risk of neural tube defects (independent of folate intake) while also improving cognition and lowering levels of circulating cortisol. This is significant because lowering a baby’s production of cortisol could, over their lifetime, reduce their risk of certain stress-related disorders. In terms of improving cognition, research finds that children who received additional choline in utero showed increased attention span, memory, and problem solving at age seven.

For mom, the benefits of increased choline intake are linked to a reduced risk of certain complications during pregnancy and an increase in placenta and liver function during pregnancy. The benefits of choline during pregnancy make it one nutrient you’re going to want to make sure is on your prenatal vitamin’s supplement facts panel.

Although the recommended Adequate Intake (AI) of choline for pregnant women is 450 mg/d, studies show only 10% of pregnant women in the U.S are actually meeting the AI.  Partly to blame for this is many prenatal vitamins lack sufficient choline support. A recent study evaluating the top 25 prenatal vitamins found that none contained the daily-recommended choline intake for a pregnant woman, and over half contained none at all. To help remedy this, make sure you are consuming enough choline through your diet, and supplement as needed.

If you’re aiming to get your choline from food first, one of the highest sources of choline is eggs. The egg yolk is where the choline lives (about 147 mg per egg yolk), so you won’t get your choline from an egg white omelet.

See the chart below for more choline sources and their amounts. You will notice that animal sources contain the greatest amounts of choline, so vegans and vegetarians run an even greater risk of choline deficiency. Therefore, it’s critical that vegans and some vegetarians supplement with choline during pregnancy.

Food SourceCholine (mg)
Beef liver, 3 oz pan fried356
Egg yolk, large147
Beef, 3 oz. lean top round braised117
Ground beef, 3 oz. cooked85
Pork tenderloin, 3 oz. cooked83
Salmon, 3oz.77
Cod, 3oz baked71
Chicken breast, 3oz.65
Shiitake mushrooms, 1/2 cup cooked58
Soybeans, 1/4 cup cooked53
Broccoli, 1 cup cooked51
Kidney beans, 1/2 cup canned45
Quinoa, 1 cup cooked43
Garbanzo beans, 1/2 cup cooked35

DHA and Healthy Development of the Fetus

DHA, an omega-3 fatty acid, is one of the key building blocks for fetal development. During pregnancy the fetus obtains DHA through the mother, and it is imperative the mother has adequate DHA stores to support both her and her developing baby’s needs. If mom already has a low DHA status, the fetus’s reliance on her for DHA can put her at a heightened risk for DHA deficiency, and importantly,  place her baby at risk of missing out on some of the nutrient’s key benefits. To learn more about the multitude of DHA benefits during pregnancy see “Why Do I Need DHA During Pregnancy?”.

Pregnant women need a minimum of 300 mg of DHA a day. Because many prenatal vitamins do not contain DHA, this means pregnant women need to obtain their daily minimum through fatty fish or fish oil. Given that pregnant women are advised to limit consumption of low-mercury fish to 2-3 times per week, incorporating a fish oil supplement containing at least 300 mg/d can help support your DHA needs if your prenatal is lacking. However, your individual needs may not be met by 300 mg/d, making it important to talk to your doctor and get tested. You can determine your needs through a simple blood test to find out what dose is best for you.

The American Pregnancy Association recommends Safe Catch because they test every fish for mercury. Check out our delicious recipes made with Safe Catch tuna, salmon and more!

Talk to Your Health Care Provider

Always let your health care provider know what prenatal vitamins you are taking. Consider taking your supplement bottles with you to your first prenatal visit. Prenatal vitamins can be helpful ways of including vital nutrients in your daily meals. Vitamins and minerals are essential to the healthy development of your baby, as well as your own physical health.

Be sure to speak with your health care provider about nutrition before you conceive if you are planning to get pregnant in the near future, or as soon as you know you are pregnant.

The American Pregnancy Association recommends Nordic Naturals’ selection of liquid supplements including:

  • Vitamin D3
  • Omega-3D
  • Ultimate Omega
  • Children’s DHA Xtra
  • Artic-D Cod Liver Oil

Article contributed by Kate Turner, MA, RD, CPT is the Nutrition Specialist at  Nordic Naturals.

(more…)

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Can You Get Pregnant on Your Period? https://americanpregnancy.org/can-i-get-pregnant-if/can-you-get-pregnant-on-your-period/ Sat, 28 May 2022 15:00:07 +0000 https://americanpregnancy.org/?p=9163 Can You Get Pregnant if You Have Sex During Your Period? Most likely you will not get pregnant having sex while on your period. That’s because your ovulation time is several days away decreasing any chances of getting pregnant during this time. However, there are exceptions. This applies to women who have a typical 28 to […]

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Can You Get Pregnant if You Have Sex During Your Period?

Most likely you will not get pregnant having sex while on your period. That’s because your ovulation time is several days away decreasing any chances of getting pregnant during this time. However, there are exceptions. This applies to women who have a typical 28 to 30 day or longer cycle. If you have a shorter cycle, say every 21 to 24 days, that means you are ovulating earlier in the cycle. Because sperm can live inside you for up to 5 days, you could have sex towards the end of your period and then conceive 4 or 5 days later with your early ovulation.

The probabilities of getting pregnant during your period are low, but the possibilities are there. This is not the time to have sex if you are trying to get pregnant.

Can You Get Pregnant Right After Your Period?

You are moving into your fertility window, so yes, you can get pregnant right after your period. On a typical cycle that occurs every 28 to 30 days, the fertility window is usually between Day 11 and Day 21.  Remember, sperm can live up to 5 days. If your period (bleeding time) lasts for 5 to 7 days, and you have sex right after that, you are approaching your fertility window.

Can You Get Pregnant on the Last Day of Your Period?

If you stop bleeding on Day 6, have sex on Day 7 and ovulate on Day 11, it’s possible the sperm from Day 6 will be waiting in your fallopian tubes for conception. Your chances of conceiving right after your period increase each day after your bleeding has stopped. If you are trying to conceive this is a good time to have sex. Increase your chances of conception by having sex every other day for the next 14 days.

What About Right Before Your Period?

The likelihood of getting pregnant right before your period is extremely low. For women with a typical 28- to 30-day cycle or longer and their cycles are regular, it is fairly safe to say your ovulation occurred between Day 11 and Day 21. The egg is only available for 12 to 24 hours for conception.

This means the days right before your period are the safest to have sex without the expectation of getting pregnant. The number of “safe days” right before your period go up with longer cycles and lessen with shorter cycles.

If you wait 36 to 48 hours after ovulation, you should be beyond the possibilities of conception. The further you are from ovulation, the less likely your chance for conceiving. This is not the time to have sex if you are trying to conceive.  It’s still a good time to enjoy intimacy with your partner.

Bottom Line

A woman’s ovulation cycles can vary, so it’s statistically possible you could become pregnant while on your period. While pregnancy is less likely in the earlier days of your period, the chances increase in the later days.

If you’re trying to become pregnant and haven’t conceived after a year or more of having unprotected sex, download our new e-book The Ultimate Fertility Resource Guide. It’s a free download and has the essential information and tips you need to improve your fertility and get pregnant faster.

Want to Know More?

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Paternity Leave https://americanpregnancy.org/healthy-pregnancy/first-year-of-life/paternity-leave/ Fri, 27 May 2022 18:35:56 +0000 https://americanpregnancy.org/?p=95015 Paternity leave is the time a father or partner takes off from work after the birth or adoption of their child. The U.S. currently doesn’t have a national paid family leave policy that covers paternity leave, but some states and private companies offer paid leave. Partners who qualify for the Family & Medical Leave Act […]

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Paternity leave is the time a father or partner takes off from work after the birth or adoption of their child. The U.S. currently doesn’t have a national paid family leave policy that covers paternity leave, but some states and private companies offer paid leave. Partners who qualify for the Family & Medical Leave Act (FMLA) can take unpaid time off.

The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA)

The FMLA should not be confused with a comprehensive paternity leave policy, nor does it qualify as a parental leave statute per se. It’s more of a broad stroke law that allows parents to balance their careers with their responsibilities to their family.

Each year, eligible employees are provided with up to 12 weeks of unpaid but job-protected leave. The latter stipulation means you cannot lose your job for maximizing the policy. That is so long as you’re on the same page as your employer in terms of why you need to exhaust the FMLA.

The FMLA cites the following reasons for leave eligibility:

  • The birth and care of the newborn child of an employee
  • An employee adopts or foster cares a child
  • An employee needs to look after an immediate family member (i.e., spouse, child, or parent) with a serious health condition
  • An employee cannot work due to a serious health condition

Employees need to pass the following criteria to be eligible for FMLA leave:

  • Rendered at least 12 months of work for their employer or at least 1,250 hours of service over the past 12 months
  • Worked in a location where the employer maintains at least 50 workers within a 75-mile radius

Check with your employer as they may have a more generous leave policy for new fathers.

 

For Additional Information:
U.S. Department of Labor Wage and Hour Division 200 Constitution Ave, NW Washington, DC 20210 1-866-487-9243

Sources:
U.S. Department of Labor https://www.dol.gov/general/topic/benefits-leave/fmla

Compliance Assistance: Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA)
Links to various sources of information about FMLA.

Fact Sheet on FMLA
Covers the major requirements of FMLA and updates to the FMLA regulations.

 

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Tips to Help Him be a Dad to His Newborn https://americanpregnancy.org/healthy-pregnancy/first-year-of-life/tips-to-help-him-be-a-dad-to-his-newborn/ Fri, 27 May 2022 18:12:31 +0000 https://americanpregnancy.org/?p=95008 Many dads feel unneeded or left out of the relationship when they see how close Mom and Baby are – especially when Mom is breastfeeding. It takes time and effort for dads to find ways to bond with their new baby in the early months Here are 8 tips suggested for bonding—without using a bottle […]

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Many dads feel unneeded or left out of the relationship when they see how close Mom and Baby are – especially when Mom is breastfeeding. It takes time and effort for dads to find ways to bond with their new baby in the early months

Here are 8 tips suggested for bonding—without using a bottle or feeding the baby:

  • Wear the baby (sling, carrier, wrap), which allows the baby to feel, smell, and see Dad.
  • Bathe the baby, whether in a small tub or in the big tub with Baby and Dad in skin-to-skin care.
  • Get on the floor with Baby, view the world from his or her location, and talk, touch, tickle, sing, read, and hold him or her.
  • Diaper changes will keep Dad and Baby in close eye contact, allowing for soothing and reassurance from dad to baby.
  • Take the baby out of the house, solo! This one-on-one time helps Dad build his own relationship with Baby, allowing him to learn about his baby’s needs and how to meet them without use of a bottle.
  • Read to the baby. This can start even prior to birth. Reading is a brain development behavior and Baby loves to hear Dad’s voice.  
  • Massage the baby. Have Dad take a class on infant massage and learn how to gently soothe, touch, and safely and effectively massage his little one.
  • Sing to the baby, whether you can carry a tune or not! And if you play an instrument, add that to the serenade.
  • Burp the baby after each feeding. Dads just seem to have that special touch when it comes to burping; I’ve seen it time and again over the past 20+ years!
  • Settle baby into his or her own bed after Mom has completed a middle-of-the-night feeding.
  • Take pictures/videos of Baby for Mom and/or Dad to have when away from the baby.
  • Take advantage of any parental leave offered at work and plan to spend that time with just Mom and Baby, increasing the bonding and joys of those early weeks.

Can you add to this list? Many new fathers are very creative in finding opportunities for bonding with their little ones. One young man, I remember, was so proud to have found “his” way… he placed his son safely into a sling on his body, went outside, and shot hoops with his son (safely, of course)! What a special touch.

This article is provided by WomenDeserveBetter.com


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How to Tell Him He’s Going to Be a Dad https://americanpregnancy.org/healthy-pregnancy/how-to-tell-him-hes-going-to-be-a-dad/ Fri, 27 May 2022 17:16:04 +0000 https://americanpregnancy.org/?p=94983 Discovering you’re pregnant may come as a surprise and with varying emotions. Whether or not it’s something you have been trying for, it can be shocking! Now, allow yourself the time you need to adjust to your new reality. There is a brand new little human being in your life now and that’s pretty huge. […]

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Discovering you’re pregnant may come as a surprise and with varying emotions. Whether or not it’s something you have been trying for, it can be shocking! Now, allow yourself the time you need to adjust to your new reality. There is a brand new little human being in your life now and that’s pretty huge.

How to decide when it’s a good time to share the news with the baby’s father

There may never be a “perfect” time, but there may be a time that’s better than others; such as when he is relaxed, when he isn’t rushed, and when he has some time to be able to absorb the news. Don’t choose when his favorite team is playing, or after a particularly stressful day at work, and definitely not right in the middle of a family crisis.

If he has been eagerly anticipating becoming a father, perhaps you may want to do something to make the news extra special. You’re only going to break this news about this baby to Dad one time, so go ahead and have fun with it! Cakes, a special dinner, balloons, scavenger hunts, or a special card are all tried and true ways to let Dad in on the news! Gather the supplies or materials you may need, and be sure nothing comes up last minute that will distract Dad from this big news!

If you are not sure how enthusiastic or supportive the father will be, take some extra time to plan out how, when and where you will share the news. Would having some support for yourself help? It’s okay to have a close friend or family member with you when you share the news with the father. You may want to give Dad some time to mentally prepare for some big news. You can do this by letting him know there is something you want to talk to him about and then confirming when and where this discussion will happen. It may be “when you get home from work today” or “Can we meet tomorrow at the coffee shop on Main Street?” Decide what make you the most comfortable.

This is important news that requires open and honest communication

Using text or email is probably not the most appropriate way to share this news with him. Even if there are special circumstances, like he is out of the country for a long work trip or a deployment, you can use a face-to-face video chat such as FaceTime, Skype, or Google Hangouts. That way, you can see each other which helps to cut down on miscommunication and misunderstanding. Let him see your enthusiasm and determination!

Sharing the News

When it is time to share the news, it’s okay to feel a little nervous. Maybe you feel both nervous and excited. That’s all right. This is a big deal! Take a deep breath and be honest and open. If you have planned something fun to make it a surprise, communicate your enthusiasm and excitement. Your excitement will be contagious.

If you are unsure how he may react, use direct statements that clearly communicate the reality you are facing: “I asked to talk to you because I have some important news to tell you. I am pregnant. We are going to have a baby…” and then tell him when your estimated due date is or the approximate month you believe you are due.

If it seems that the father has trouble understanding (sometimes dads get a little overwhelmed at this news!), you can follow up with, “Your son or daughter will be born in a little less than nine months.” Communicate to him that he is the father, not that he is going to be a father (because he already is), and you are going to need him to take responsibility for this baby and to support you now, not later.

Be understanding. He may need time to absorb this news, just like you did when you learned you were pregnant!

If you are concerned that the father’s reaction is going to be less than positive or that he will be unsupportive, be direct and firm. Tell him that he is the father of the baby and then lay out what you hope for from him: “I wanted to talk to you because I am pregnant, and you are this baby’s father. I want you to be involved and supportive.”

Again, give him some time to absorb the news. If he isn’t prepared to provide any kind of support, you may want to tell him (as calmly as possible), “I want you to know that I am prepared to care for our baby and I have friends and family who will help us.” At this point, he may need to absorb the news and then regroup in a day or so.

When you continue your discussion, don’t feel like you have to have everything planned for the future. It’s okay to continue the discussion and planning over the coming months. Biological dads, at the very least, have a responsibility to pay child support. If you need help applying for child support and other programs, there are social service agencies that will help you. If he is unsupportive and you may want to explore adoption options.

If there may be a threat of or history of violent or abusive behavior from the baby’s father, do not share the news with him alone. Have a counselor, social worker, or advocate with you. He or she can help you set appropriate boundaries with the father to keep both you and your baby safe.

Again, be understanding. It can seem both daunting and unreal to many dads. He will need you to communicate what your needs are, and what you need and expect from him. Men aren’t mind readers. And when it comes to pregnancy, they tend to be less intuitive about how to support you—but it doesn’t mean they don’t want to!

If the father is not supportive or refuses to be a part of your and your baby’s life, surround yourself with people who WILL support you: friends, family, co-workers, advocates, and caregivers, including organizations in the community. Embrace Grace is a wonderful organization that surrounds expectant moms with love and all kinds of support.

Encourage the father of your child to reach out for his own support, too. Fatherhood doesn’t happen in a vacuum. He will need men whom he trusts to be his support and to encourage him in his fatherhood. Soon, he might be passing out chocolate cigars when the baby is born! Embrace Grace has programs for dads too.

Don’t put pressure on yourself or him to figure everything out at once. First things first. Remember that women are capable and have been having children for thousands of years.

Lastly, never forget that you are amazing. Your body is giving life to another human being. This is an incredible time, and you deserve to feel confident in your ability to care for yourself and your baby. You can do this—and you are not alone!

Article provided by WomenDeserveBetter.com


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